The Cost of Discipleship
“That’s the price of having friends that are obedient to the Lords call.”
I received this text from a friend the other day. He asked me if there was any chance we would be in the United States around the time of his wedding. I think you probably know the answer to that question already. There is a part of me that wishes I could tell you that following Jesus doesn’t come at a cost. We both know that isn’t true. There is another part of me that wants you to know that the cost of following Jesus is so worth it that we never experience sadness or loss as a result of following Jesus. Then again, we both know this isn’t true either.
So, what is true?
TRUTH #1: It costs something to follow Jesus.
“Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” - Matthew 16:24
Deny yourself. Pick up your cross. Follow me. Order matters. And the order here is interesting. Jesus doesn’t paint some unrealistic picture of following Him. He doesn’t save the “deny yourself and pick up your cross” part for a later discussion. The call to do these things actually comes before following Him. Because, let me say it again, order matters.
Too often we get the order wrong. We choose to follow Jesus without first counting the cost. I wonder if this is part of what Jesus meant in the parable of the sower. Matthew 13:5-6 says, “Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.” Those that accept the message of Jesus with excitement, but never truly count the cost of following Him, are some of the people on rocky soil. Listen to what Jesus tells His disciples later while describing this parable to them. Matthew 13:20-21 says, “The seed falling on rocky ground refers to someone who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.”
It costs to follow Jesus. Plain and simple. You will need to give things up. Deny yourself. Pick up your cross. Hmmm, sounds like a steep price to me. I don’t see any way around it.
TRUTH #2: You will likely experience a sense of loss at some point if you choose to follow Jesus.
“That’s the price of having friends that are obedient to the Lords call.” What emotions do you sense in his voice? My friend loves Jesus. So, I can tell you right now that he is very happy that we are following God’s call on our life. He would want us to remain where we are. But we’d be kidding ourselves if this wasn’t said from a place of sadness. Of course it makes him sad that we can’t be there. A wedding day only happens once, and now a couple of his friends will be missing from the guest list that day. I have emotions too. Before this text was ever sent, there was a different text I received from him. It was the text letting me know that he was engaged. My first reaction was immediate joy for him, but very close behind was also a deep sense of sadness. The moment I heard he was engaged was the exact moment I knew I would likely miss out on the wedding day.
This isn’t the only moment we have experienced these kinds of emotions since moving to Italy. My brother and his wife had their first child recently. It is very likely the first time I see this little guy in person he will already be running around and won’t want Uncle Eric to hold him. That makes my heart sad. There are others I could share. We’ve only lived here for nine months. We are guaranteed to miss out on more. My personality really wants to stop writing these words and change the tone. I tend to shut off the sad emotions and ignore them. But I can’t. Not yet. God made us to have emotions. He has emotions. Throughout the Old Testament we hear about God’s joy, anger, and sadness. Jesus was known as “a man of sorrow, and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3). The Holy Spirit is called “the Comforter.” In my experience, you can’t comfort someone without feeling yourself. We can also grieve the Holy Spirit. God has emotions. We have emotions. That is okay. It is how we are designed. You will experience loss as a result of following Jesus. Let that sink in. Feel it. This is important to process.
TRUTH #3: The cost to follow Jesus, and the emotions (sadness, grief, loss, etc.) that follow, are very much worth it.
Basketball season of my senior year of high school was one of the most disciplined seasons of my life. We were not good my junior year. If my memory is accurate we went 4-17 that year. I also missed a whole month due to an ankle injury that season. But don’t connect my injury to our record. I was a starter and one of the better players on the team, but I can’t claim to have been that important on an already bad team. When the season ended, I was determined to help turn our basketball program around. We had lived in mediocrity for far too long. In the fall, I chose to skip out on football and run cross country instead. I knew I’d be injury free and in much better condition heading into basketball season. It also allowed me to play a ton of basketball that fall. My game improved as a result. During the winter basketball season, I often came to practice about an hour early to get some shots up and work on my game. I even stayed about thirty minutes to an hour after practice to do the same. And I was not the only one who was this committed. The result was a team record of 17-4, our first conference championship in several years, and a new trajectory for the program. Much sacrifice had to take place in order for these results to come about. There was a cost to the success. I experienced some backlash from the football community for choosing not to play. I wasn’t the best player on the team, but the new coach had asked me to play quarterback for him. As a star athlete in a small town, that is like becoming king. By passing up the opportunity to be starting quarterback and run cross country instead, I chose to lose some social status in the school as well. That can be a hard decision for a young man with a lot of pride. I experienced deep sadness that year as well. Losing is never fun. We got to enjoy a season of very few losses. But only one team comes out on top. My last basketball game of my career still has an “L” in the column. Okay, enough reminiscing. You don’t care about Uncle Rico over here and my high school athletic achievements that mean nothing.
Yet, this serves as a great metaphor for this final truth. If I had to go back and do it all over again, athletically speaking, I would have sacrificed more. Heck, I would have sacrificed sooner. None of the loss, none of the sadness, and none of what I gave up will compare to the joy of achieving things on the court or field. You know this just as much as I do. You also have memories you can look back on. Moments in life when you chose to sacrifice to achieve something. For me it was sports. For you it might have been the theater, the canvas, or the classroom. We know that nothing good ever comes without first counting the cost and sacrificing much. We also know that oftentimes deep sadness or grief comes before unheard of joy and happiness. Yet, we can almost all agree that it is always worth it.
How much more in our discipleship? Paul says in 1 Timothy 4:8, “for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” It is funny how something doesn’t become real to you until it becomes lived. For the majority of my life I knew this verse, but never really tested its theory. Yet, there came a time in my life where I began to take it, and other teachings in Scripture, more seriously. I can now say, in my lived experience, that Paul ain’t lying. There is value in training for the things of this world. But nothing compares to the value that we receive now and in the future when we commit to training in godliness.
It costs something to follow Jesus.
You will likely experience a sense of loss at some point if you choose to follow Jesus.
The cost to follow Jesus, and the emotions (sadness, grief, loss, etc.) that follow, are very much worth it.
Are you willing to put it to the test?
